Sometimes there are off days when you just don’t feel the heat between the sheets. And sometimes the off days become an off period characterised by consistently mediocre sex. How can you turn the beat around and feel the passion again?
• First, check whether the reason for your bad sex experience is your own passivity. It takes two to tango, so if you’re leaving the heavy lifting to your partner, you need to switch gears and take over the reins for a change. Tell him what you want him to do. If talking about it makes you feel uncomfortable, guide him with your hands instead.
• Introduce a new element—a sex toy, a new position, dirty talk, role play…. Exploring a new sexual experience together will bring back the excitement and freshness that may have dissipated. However, don’t jump into the deep end without testing the water first. If you’re at the never-have-I-ever end of the BDSM spectrum, and think you’d like to experiment, start small. Maybe a blindfold and pompoms instead of a neck leash and whip?
• Start talking about sex more. That is, what you would like from your partner, what you’ve been thinking of trying, why you think things may have fizzled a bit, what you’d like to do to rev it up again, etc. If you’re not quite comfortable doing this yet, begin with baby steps. Carve out time in your schedules for dates and reconnect again. Talk about everything under the sun. When you’ve gotten back in the saddle intimacy-wise, try talking sex. It won’t feel that awkward anymore, we promise.
• Introduce a new element—a sex toy, a new position, dirty talk, role play…. Exploring a new sexual experience together will bring back the excitement and freshness that may have dissipated. However, don’t jump into the deep end without testing the water first. If you’re at the never-have-I-ever end of the BDSM spectrum, and think you’d like to experiment, start small. Maybe a blindfold and pompoms instead of a neck leash and whip?
• Start talking about sex more. That is, what you would like from your partner, what you’ve been thinking of trying, why you think things may have fizzled a bit, what you’d like to do to rev it up again, etc. If you’re not quite comfortable doing this yet, begin with baby steps. Carve out time in your schedules for dates and reconnect again. Talk about everything under the sun. When you’ve gotten back in the saddle intimacy-wise, try talking sex. It won’t feel that awkward anymore, we promise.
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